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Mrs. Hageli's Social Work Page
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JANUARY TOPIC
DEALING
WITH PEER PRESSURE Peer Pressure Peer pressure takes place when a child does something he or she does not want to do as a result of being pressured by peers. Peer pressure is a part of almost all children's lives. All children experience peer pressure and give in to it at one time or another. While parents can't protect their children from experiencing peer pressure, there are steps they can take to minimize its effects. Bad Companions Some children, rather than experiencing the normal peer pressure that occurs with most children, have one or two bad companions who are a negative influence. Children choose bad companions for a number of different reasons. Some choose them for the attention they get (both from parents and other children) while others choose them for companionship. Children may also choose bad companions for the excitement that accompanies getting into trouble, to rebel against parents, or because they suffer from low self-esteem and/or little self-confidence. As with peer pressure, there are steps that parents can take to minimize the effect that bad companions can have on their children. What Parents Can Do *Develop a close relationship with your children. If they haven't already, parents should work on developing an open, honest and close relationship with their children. Children who have close relationships with their parents are more likely to identify with and work to please their parents. Children who have close relationships with their parents are also much more likely to come to their parents when they are in trouble or are having problems. *Help children understand peer pressure. Children will be much better able to stand up to peer pressure and the suggestions of bad companions if they have an understanding of the process. Parents should make sure their children know that peer pressure is something that all children, and even adults, experience at one time or another. Parents can also explain that it is normal for children to want to fit in and go along with their peers, and thus give in to peer pressure. When children have an understanding of the process and the feelings involved with peer pressure, they are much less likely to give in to it. *Plan regular and frequent family activities. Parents should work hard to participate in regular, frequent family activities, starting when their children are very young. Parents should look for activities that the whole family can participate in, such as picnics, hikes in the woods, sports, etc. Parents who spend regularly scheduled time with their children participating in fun activities will have the opportunity to develop close relationships with their children. Children who spend a lot of quality time with their families are less likely to give in to peer pressure. *Encourage friendships with positive role models. Parents should encourage their children to develop and maintain friendships with children who have positive qualities. When children are young, parents can do this by inviting such children over to play or inviting them to join the family for an outing. Parents can also encourage their children to join groups or activities (e.g., scouting, sports, church groups) which involve interacting with positive role models. *Get to know your children's friends and their parents. Parents should make an effort to spend time with their children's friends to get to know them. They should also make an attempt to get to know their children's friends' parents. When parents do this, they are able to see whether their children's friends are positive influences, and whether friends' families have values similar to their own. *Know where your children are and what they are doing. When children are at home, parents should supervise their activities. When children are not at home, parents should make an effort to know where their children are, who they are with, and what they are doing. *Don't criticize your children's friends. When children have friends who are a bad influence, it is not a good idea for parents to criticize these friends. In many cases, children will become defensive and will continue to see such friends out of a sense of loyalty or to rebel against their parents. Instead of criticizing bad companions, however, parents can and should discuss specific behaviors and/or actions. For example, a parent can say, "It seems like every time Julie is over here to play, you break a house rule." *Try to figure out the reason, then address it. Children give in to peer pressure and develop friendships with bad companions for many different reasons. Parents should try to find the reasons and then attempt to solve the problem. For example, if a child gives in to peer pressure because he or she lacks the self-confidence necessary to stand up to peers, then parents can take steps to improve self-confidence in their children. *Encourage a wide variety of friends. Parents should encourage their children to have many different friends. This will expose children to other children who have many different interests and ideas. This will help promote individuality, and will make it less likely for children to give in to peer pressure from any one group. *Encourage individuality and independence. Parents should encourage their children's individuality and independence. One of the best ways to do this is for parents to model or demonstrate these behaviors. Parents who resist pressure from their own peers are teaching their children a valuable lesson. Parents who express their individuality are doing the same. Parents should also discuss independence with their children. They should stress the importance of being one's own person and doing what one feels is right for them. *Teach assertiveness. Parents should teach their children how to stand up for what they believe in. Parents can do this by using role-playing. Role-playing involves practicing different responses to various situations. This gives children a chance to practice saying no to their peers. Parents can also teach their children how to problem solve when they are faced with peer pressure, perhaps by suggesting alternative activities, or by explaining why they refuse to participate in a certain activity. *Praise assertiveness. Parents should provide lots of praise to their children when they act in an assertive manner. Behavior that is praised is much more likely to be repeated. *Provide discipline. When children give in to peer pressure and do something inappropriate, or get into trouble with a bad companion, parents should apply natural consequences or another form of punishment. Lecturing will probably not be enough to discourage such behavior in the future. Natural consequences can be restricting privileges, not allowing the child to spend time with the group or friend with whom he or she got into trouble, or requiring that the child make restitution for the wrong he or she has done. *Seek help. If a child is consistently giving in to peer pressure, or chronically getting into trouble with bad companions, a mental health professional should be consulted. |
December Topic:
Holiday Safety with Young Children
Safety-wise, holidays with an adventurous child can be an unnerving experience. Small toy parts, hard candy, breakable ornaments, candles, and poisonous plants such as mistletoe can make the season seem like a minefield.
How to get through it safely? You'll have to be particularly vigilant, especially if you're spending the holidays with friends or family who aren't up on the latest childproofing techniques. Here are some holiday hazards to avoid:
Fire
Make sure that lighted menorahs and other candles are out of reach. (If you're celebrating at home, you might even decide to forgo candles this year.) If you're planning to spend time in front of a roaring fire, use a fireplace screen and keep matches and hot pokers out of reach, too.
Dangerous objects
Toddlers and older children find previously out-of-reach spots like tabletops, shelves, and drawers enticing – particularly when they know that's where you keep the holiday goodies. (Remember to look up now – as well as getting down on all fours – when you're childproofing.)
So be careful not to leave knives, scissors, or other potentially hazardous items, drinks, or foods where your child can grab them.
Electrical cords
At home, hide electrical cords behind furniture or buy a hide-a-cord device. Keep your floors clear of decorations that your child could choke on. And put everything potentially breakable or dangerous out of his reach. At other people's houses, pay even closer attention.
Plants
Display out of reach (and in a spot your child can't climb to) any poinsettias or other holiday plants wrapped in foil and decorative ribbons – these are potential
choking hazards.Contrary to popular belief, the poinsettia plant itself isn't poisonous (though the sap can cause skin irritation), but mistletoe and some varieties of holly are toxic. Be sure to keep them well out of reach, too, or opt for other decorations instead.
Hot stoves
The kitchen is a popular place to be during the holiday season. Aside from the burners and oven themselves, a child darting by can easily trip adults cooking or carrying food and get burned when it spills. Keep your child away from the hazards by setting him up with his own cookie-making equipment (Play-Doh or leftover cookie dough) at a separate table, or invest in a set of child-size pots and pans for more pretend kitchen play – away from the action.
There are plenty of "real" cooking tasks for your child to help with, too, like "kneading" bread dough or mixing cookie dough with a wooden spoon. Just make sure you work together away from any kitchen hazards.
Bags
Remember that visitors' handbags and shopping bags are tempting and have not been childproofed. Tell the adults you need to stow them in a safe place to keep your child away from medicines, lipstick, ribbons, gift tags, and other forbidden items commonly found in them.
Taken from: http://www.babycenter.com/0_top-six-holiday-dangers_10324909.bc
November's Topic
Our Children and the Internet
The Internet can be a wonderful resource for families and children. They can use it to research information for school reports, communicate with their child’s school and teachers, play interactive games, and chat with friends. Children old enough to make a few key strokes on the keyboard can access all kinds of information. Most families see the Internet as a powerful tool for learning and communicating— for children as well as their parents.
Safe, sensible use of the Internet can help children:
1. Receive tutoring services
2. Get help with homework
3. Gain information for projects and reports
4. “Tour” places studied in school
5. Explore interests
6. Meet others and share information across
hundreds of miles
Access to all the information on the Internet can create risks for children,
however. While the Internet is a wonderful resource, it also poses risks for
children ranging from inappropriate content to cyber-stalkers lurking in chat
rooms. Without meaning to go where they shouldn’t, children can visit websites that are offensive, or they can “chat” with persons in chat rooms who may not be who they say they are. That’s why it is so important for parents to be aware of what their children see and hear on the Internet, who they meet, and what they share about themselves online.
The Internet is an amazing tool, but parents must:
· Learn more about the Internet—its possibilities and dangers
· Become computer literate and learn how to block objectionable material
· Supervise children on the Internet by sitting with them, sharing the
family’s values, and having discussions about the information they are
finding
· Spend time online together to teach children appropriate online behavior
· Build critical thinking skills about the information on the Internet
· Support community and school efforts to keep the Internet safe for all
children
Just like any safety issue, it’s a good idea for parents to talk with their
children about their concerns, take advantage of resources to protect
them from potential dangers, and keep a close eye on their activities
online.
Child Safety on the Information Highway
There are no censors on the Internet. Anyone in the world—companies,
governments, organizations, and individuals—can publish material and
post it on the Internet. A federal law has been created to help protect
children while they are using the Internet. It is designed to keep
anyone from obtaining children’s personal information without their
parents knowing about it and agreeing to it first.
The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) requires websites
to explain their privacy policies on the site and get parents’ consent before collecting or
using a child’s personal information, such as a name, address, phone number, or social
security number. The law also prohibits a site from requiring a child to provide more
personal information than necessary to play a game or contest.
But even with this law, a child’s best online protection is his/her parents. By talking to
children about potential online dangers and monitoring their computer use, parents can help their children surf the Internet safely. (Source: Kids Health for Parents,
Steven Dowshen, MD., April 2005)
The best protection is to:
o Supervise children personally; spend time online together to teach your child
appropriate online behavior.
o Block access to certain web sites or use software programs that block or filter
offensive material.
o Use software that prevents children from revealing information about
themselves such as their name, age, address, phone number. (Find a
directory of these filtering programs at www.getnetwise.org/tools.)
o Bookmark favorite sites for easy access and to reduce the risk of children going
to an inappropriate site.
o Share an email account with your child so you can monitor messages.
o Review “use histories” or logs that show Internet activity.
o Educate children to the problems and dangers of the Internet so they know
what to avoid and what to look out for.
Establish family rules for Internet use:
· Keep computers in high-traffic areas like the family room or kitchen, not in
bedrooms, unsupervised.
· Children ages 9 and under shouldn’t be allowed to surf the Web alone—they
need close supervision.
· Older children need to have clear rules about using the Internet alone. Tell
children that you need to know where they are going online and what they are
doing there.
· Keep track of the files your children download, join them when they are in
private chat areas, and ask often who they are chatting with on the Internet.
· Put time limits on the computer. Children need to allow time for physical
activity, homework, and friends, too.
· Tell children never to trade personal photographs in the mail or scanned over
the Internet.
· Tell children never to reveal personal information, never to agree to meet any
one from a chat room in person, never to respond to threatening emails or
messages.
· Tell children that violating the family. Internet rules will result in lost privileges
to go online—and then enforce the rules.
“PEN Notes” are publications of the Parent Education Network, a project of Parents Helping Parents of WY Inc., funded by a grant from the
US Department of Education, Office of Innovation & Improvement, Parent Options & Information. Views expressed in “PEN Notes” are not
necessarily those of the Department of Education.
October Topic:
During October, Grass Lake School will be participating in the 2011 Red Ribbon Week. Red Ribbon Week is an alcohol, tobacco and other drug and violence prevention awareness campaign observed annually and is sponsored by the National Family Partnership.
As you know, transition times can add pressure and make teens more vulnerable to experimenting with drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. Some examples of transition times include starting a new school, starting middle school, moving, divorce, etc.
With Red Ribbon Week quickly approaching in October, we wanted to give parents some useful websites to aide in talking to their children about drug, alcohol, and tobacco prevention.
http://family.samhsa.gov/media/familyguide/Underagebrochure_10_27_released_2.pdf
http://doe.sd.gov/octa/ddn4learning/themeunits/drugs/index.htm
www.TimeToTalk.org
http://dccps.nci.nih.gov/tcrb/Smoking_Facts/about.html
Remember, the more you talk about it, the less likely your child will start, and your child is never too young to learn the facts about drugs, alcohol, or smoking.
If you are unable to get to the information provided on these websites, or if you would like to talk to Renee Hageli (social worker) about any questions or concerns that you may have, please feel free to contact her at 847-395-1550 ext. 35.
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Social Work Topics of Interest (click on any topic for additional information)
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Miscellaneous Services & Offices Lake Forest
Hospital Care Coach
* Free
Health Screenings
* Childhood
Immunizations
See
schedule and additional information at
All Kids & Family Care Health
Insurance
for Needy Families (by
Verizon) to receive Medicaid, food stamps, SSI, public housing, or LIHEAP. Lifeline provides eligible customers with a monthly credit on their phone bill. Linkup also provides a credit toward
installing a single
telephone line.
with eye exams and
glasses, with hearing aids. low-income, fixed income, and emergency situations based on need.
please contact:
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